Bakwit sa sarili / Refuge from myself

Bakwit sa Sarili……………………………..Refuge from myself

Munting hiram na buhay,…………………….When will this rented
kelan pa yayaon? …………………………….lifetime pass?
Pina-walang kabuluhan……………………..’Time has taken
ang oras na lumipas………………………….the sense of things.
Panahon na sinaksi……………………………I have witnessed
pawang di akin sarili…………………………what is not mine.

Kelan ang katapusan?……………………….When will this end?
Sa oras ng pagtanggap………………………In accepting
ng tinig mo? Irog,……………………………your voice? My dear,
ika’y aking kamatayan………………………you are my death.

Ano ang pinangakong………………………..Where is
payapa at galak,………………………………peace and joy
kung puso’y sumisikap………………………if the heart still toils
sa inaasahang pangarap?…………………….towards it’s endeavors?

Kelan mabubuksan…………………………….When will I unlock
ang pagkakataon ng pangakong……………….the promise
ligaya mula sa kamay mo?……………………..from your hands?
Di pa sapat ang pagsunod?…………………….Is compliance not enough?

Asan na ang hinanap pangarap na ligaya,……..Where is happiness
mula sa pawis, pagnanasa?…………………….sought with sweat and desire
Gawin ang lahat…………………………………..of risking all
sa anumang konsekwnsya?……………………no matter what?

Sino ako? Taong……………………………….Who am I? so presumptive
mapangahas sa sariling kalooban,……………of my own will,
ligaw sa ilang,…………………………………….lost in the wild,
lasing sa layaw,………………………………….drunk for indulgence,
lulon sa kadiliman at kawalan………………drowned into its depths.

ano ako sa Yo?…………………………………..what am i to You?
yapak…………………………………………….footprints.
alabok…………………………………………….dust.
pinag-duraang basura ng lansangan…………..garbage spit in the street.

Ginawa mo aking kapalaran,…………………You made me thus,
palayok at pinggan…………………………….as a clay pot.
Sa yong kagustuhan…………………………..Transformed and used
tadhanang pupuntahan………………………for what you forge.

Aking tanggap……………………………….I accept
kawalan ng karapatan,…………………….lost of rights,
pagsuko ng kalayaan,……………………..surrendered freedom,
layag sa kagustuhan,……………………..adrift from wants,

yaong kababaan…………………………..and lowly.
Paglisan ng sarili, bihag…………………when i abandon myself, as Your
at lingkod mo,………………………………captive and servant
nawa’y malaya sa mundo……………………may i be free of this world.

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